You know I buyz stuff on the internets like everyone else
and it is cheap and easy and sweet like rawr sugars, I come home and it sits on
me porch like Christmas morning and I so happy and no drivin’. But I cant buy
pants when they don’t fits and I cant buy cameras when I don’t know how they
feel and cant buy some things unless I see them first and hold them in my hand
and lick them and smell them and know they good eats.
I love you Kenmore camera and I love you duvall hardware and
I love you Swedes fly shop even though you are dead now and moved to Spokane
and you left my life forever and ever and you don’t write me, and I love duvall
used books, I love you so much I think about fondling your private book parts
in my mind and I don’t know what I would do if you were there no more I would
have the salt drips down my face and I would wander lost.
Sos I try and shop there and buy real things from real
people in brick and mortar stores where there is real bricks and real mortar
and it takes real gas and real time and real drivin I do that all for you and
for love. I bleed for you.
I just bought a EX2F camera from the internet, but I didn’t
want to but it was nowhere http://www.photographyblog.com/reviews/samsung_ex2f_review/
to be found in the whole seattle greater area and I looked and looked and tried
SO HARD to be a good babuy but I had to go to the mean nasty internet her
wearing the black leather dress and her gloves and all that MEAN gear I hate
her so much because she doesn’t have to try and she smirks like steal.
I don’t even like the self checkout at safewway spit at it,
I don’t go to the drive through at starbucks, I hates that bank drive through
and I walk inside and I stand on real earth and take they suckers and look at
their cookies and cold coffee.
So you know I blew up my oly 1200 in malta salty and I needs
to replace it with a waterproof camera because the water is always here with
rain and boat spray and fallin in creeks backwards and my hands reach backward
and I cant feel anything and everything is wet wet wet the water watches me and
looks in my windows and it KNOWS what to do ! You cant trick the weather because it is old and creaky and mean it will wear you out it will wear out a rock.
I decided to go to Kenmore
camera because I looked on their website and it said they have a ts20 for
129 and I could get it on the internets for 100 but you knowz I love Kenmore
camera so==ooo much and I want them to stay in business and not end up like dead swedes…
yestermorning I got up at 330 because I had to be at work at
5 and today I slept in a long time until back hurt but I was up at 630 and then
I had breakfast and listened to the radio and played gw2 and paid bills and
went to the post office and all these things and it was still only 10 and
people around here sleep so long, they sleep and sleep and sleep like they dead
and they just LAY THERE and waste time and their lives are ticking and ticking
and wasting and wasting and they don’t CARE! Nothing opens till 12 and I know
this because this problemisalwaysthere and it never goes away never goes away and the internet
watches because she is always open and always ready and she says that she says
eddy I am always ready for you click me click me get my mouse and click her////………
So I drive to Woodinville to go to GNC and they are not open
either and I look and it is 1130 and I walk and walk and look and look and I
get a jucie at jamba juice and it is like when I was in school and I stopped at
the one in Redmond almost everyday when I went to city u, and I went to ross
dress for less and I wondered if something weird would happen because my friend
just got a job there and then I could tell her something weird happened there
but nothing did and all these girls were wearing seahawks jerseys everywhere I
looked there they went all dressed up and I thought this is crazy now…
I waltzed to top foods and looked around and I saw flu
shotz and always get one now and I had
some minutes left and I thought I would get one so there is a STARBUCKS in
there and I thought you know there is a starbucks in every building in the US
now that is over 3000 square feet and I am glad I live in a nice small house or
I would get up in the middle of the night to pee and a starbucks girl would be
there and say “excuse me mr peters but would you like a quadruple shot carmel
macchiato venti’? and I would say hey
you weird little starbucks girl with black-green hair what are you doing sneaking
around in m y fukin house at night, and she would say “hey dude you remember you
kicked out that addition on your and now your place is 3450 square feet and so
we HAVE to be here”!!!....and I went to the prescription counter and said do
you do flu shotz right now? Because I knew they wouldn’t but they did they did. And I
had to fill out a form and sign my name and fill out another form and she
wanted a card and I gave her my card and she wanted the MEDCO card and then I
waited and they had me sign electronic and then they had me sign again and I
was getting tired now and she came out and said to pull up my sleeve and I did.
She slipped it in her sweet soft way this philippino woman
with the grandpa mouth and I couldn’t even feel it and I said hey you did me so
good I cant feel you inside me, and at work I get the short shotz for free or maybe they just
cheaper but they feel like a little bony hand kid punch your arm with the big
knuckle sticking out. YEouchee yaknow! and sorryness
Then I went back to gnc and bought my special super powder to
make me whey strong and I drove to Kenmore then because the time was good. I
parked in front of Kenmore camera went in and it was full of people and
excitement and it was an optical orgy of things it was like christmas but before halloween christmas. Sos I looked at the ts820 and the guy brought one over and I
looked and it was small and sweet like a little deck of digital cards a piece
of shiny jewelry that kicks out all the dreams and thoughts in all the colors
like skittles of lifetimes. I smiled and nodded and said yes yes yes we went ot
the register and he said some 200 bucks and I said......
WHAT!!!
And everyone in the store
jumped and looked at me because I didn’t say wot or WAHT or even….. you know………
like WHAT!
I said WHAT!!!
And my eyes looked into his eyes in the deep brown gushy part and my eyes said
what in the fuck are you talking about but my mouth said what about the 30
dollar in store rebate listed on your website? http://www.kenmorecamera.com/p-18766-panasonic-lumix-ts20-blue.aspx He
said oh that rebate ran out at midnight last night and Panasonic doesn’t like
it if we don’t follow their rulz…
Then he says you know the
digital photography show on November third http://www.kenmorecamera.com/p-18766-panasonic-lumix-ts20-blue.aspx that is a
good time to buy there are good prices and all that, but the problem dude, is I
drove all the way over here and was going to pay more than the internet to help
you brick-and-mortar fucks out but then you play this jack-around-the-maypole
silliness and now I wanna walk I wanna walk…wok wok wok
Sos I drive home and it is 1238
and the seahawks game is on at 1 and all the people are wearing seahawks
clothes and I had to run a red light and that song was on the radio on and on
and on and on and do you know how many songs are like that? Well a whole
bunches I can tell you that
But it was GOLD GUNS GIRLS—by metric
And then at home the internet woman told me again “see you
should have never left my side, you cannot trust the brick-and-mortar people
they are too real for you and they are not for the goodness gracious, come to
me, stay with me, we are the togetherness, should go on and on its never gonna be enough”
